Schooling

School has brought many challenges to my littles.  Since it's hard to get respite with everyone needing background checks and having to have the space and all that fun stuff, we had our littles start attending Mother's Day Out.  The first year they just went one day a week.  Grace struggled big time with separation anxiety.  Christopher was constantly running down the hall and asking the other kids for their food.  Even though we made sure to pack him a big enough lunch.  The second year, they went twice a week.  That went a little bit better, but they also learned to pull their behaviors in during the day when they were at MDO and it would all come flying out the minute they got in the van for me.  The break was nice, but I paid for it so to speak.  

Since they had their history with being in foster care, they were able to go to our public school pre-k program.  Joy struggled with some learning in there and I let the teacher know that we had been working on this stuff in occupational therapy for quite some time.  She just required a lot of repetition to learn things. We got her on her ADHD medicine and her behaviors got a little better although she continued to get in trouble on a regular basis. Once their adoption happened as well, she really seemed to calm down.  Her teacher said to me one day "it's almost like she just really needed to know that you were telling her the truth and once she saw that she was indeed getting her forever family, she just seemed to calm down."  She still had the occasional blip with behavior, but it wasn't anything like it had been.   Christopher was very smart, but he developed a lot of behavioral issues and the teacher was concerned about the level of agression that he exhibited and his lack of boundaries.  I continued to let her know that we were working on things, he went to counseling, we went to behavior therapy, we worked on behaviors in occupational therapy, and we were trying.  Almost every day, she'd meet me at the car and tell me something that he did that day.  Our counselor told us to just be glad that the school was seeing what I was talking about and that he wasn't hiding it from the school.  We also wound up having to make him his own space at his own table and he needed constant redirection to stay in his own space.  Grace did very well in school and was a people pleaser.  Her teacher loved her.

Kindergarten brought some more behavior issues for Joy.  I talked to her teacher and we were able to get her on the 504 status due to her ADHD.  They worked with her and she got a seat by the teacher's desk and she needed a lot of redirection, but she did pretty well.  I think some of it was dealing with a new school, new teacher, and just seeing what she could get away with.  I continued to have concerns about her reading and writing, but they said that she was doing well.  Finally before the end of the year, her teacher said that she was starting to see what my concerns were but that she was pushing through.  Christopher continued to struggle with behaviors and agression in kindergarten and starting getting a lot of in school suspensions due to hurting other students.  He was also throwing his lunches away and charging breakfast and lunch in the cafeteria all of the time.  We finally had to tell the school that unless he had a note from home that he couldn't eat in the cafeteria.  Little turkey, didn't do his morning work one day because he was too busy trying to forge a note from home in as nice handwriting as possible.  He had our names all spelled phonetically and colored the whole thing brown.  Obviously the lunch lady knew something was up.  He's too smart for his own good.  I asked him that day "did you ever think about simply asking us for what you want instead of thinking up all these ways to go around about way to get what you want?"  UGH!    At Christmas, I went up for their Christmas party not knowing anything was going on and the principal came and pulled me out and said that she had to take him to in school suspension for the day due to something that had happened, but that if he was going to continue going to school there that he couldn't go on acting like this.  I went to the guidance counselor as we had a couple of talks about his behavior before and all that we were trying to do to help him succeed and I broke down crying in the hallway.  After that point, it was all down hill from there.  He was in ISS 2-4 times a week after that point.  I also had him on 504 status as well so we could try to make accomodations.  Having his own defined space was absolutely necessary in the classroom and on the playground or someone would get hurt.  Grace did really well in kindergarten and she only got monitored 504 status due to her ADHD, but her work is all As and Bs and she continues to be a people-pleaser and her teacher loved her as well.  The girls save a lot of their behavior up and it all comes out once they get home.

1st grade brought more of the same challenges that kindergarten brought.  Christopher continued to struggle with behavior and spent lots of time in ISS, he was kicked off the bus due to lots of safety concerns and we had to bring him back and forth to school which made it hard on all of us at times.  Towards the end of the school year, we actually had him start attending after-school care as we were having to pull over on the side of the road frequently to stop his meltdowns and the girls were getting kicked and their hair pulled all over him being upset by things that were going on at school but he was taking it out on them.  These things didnt happen all of the time, but it was enough that I couldn't let it happen anymore.  We thought that he needed a buffer zone between school and home and our counselor was recommending residential treatment and I wasnt' ready for that yet.  So, we thought we'd try after school care.  That way he was getting a buffer zone and the girls were getting a break and some time with me to themselves as well.  We had him tested for special ed and he was diagnosed with an emotional disturbance and placed under the special ed umbrella.  Joy continued to struggle with phonics and math and reading and did some reading recovery, tutoring, and some extra help.  Grace is doing great in 1st grade this year and is frequently an all A student.

Joy struggled in 2nd grade as well and I pushed to have her tested for dyslexia.  She met 2/3 of the characteristics, but they said that she didn't have it.  Lots of extra help for her to succeed in 2nd grade.  Christopher continues to struggle with behavior and flat out refusal to go to some classes or to listen to the staff and homework has become an even bigger struggle.  He's been suspended from school 4 times this year and kicked off the regular bus.  He now rides the special ed bus with success.  He's in mainstream classes, but we just had an ARD to discuss a placement change.  He is going to start attending a behavioral unit within the district in the next couple of weeks.  He's doing social skills groups with the counselor to work on expressing his emotions properly, still going to counseling, going to occupational therapy and going to see the pscyhiatrist as well.  He also had an incident at school and at home last week where he is now having delusions and hallucinations and now has a psychoses diagnoses as well.  

Joy is in 3rd grade this year.  Still thinking that there's a learning disorder of some sort going on.  Her teacher pulled her file and saw that we had her tested for dyslexia.  She was surprised as she was going to suggest that to us as an option until she found that we were already ahead of the game.  She did say though that she agrees that there's something going on with her learning.  She told us to let her fail as that was the only way that school would come in and test her.  She held her own the first marking period and then the 2nd marking period, she started to fail.  It was hard to watch her struggle so hard.  School finally sent paperwork home and agreed to test her.  3rd marking period she did a little better but they were still 70s in most classes and lower in others.  She continues to receive a lot of extra help and so forth, but it's still very difficult for her.  They sent home a retention letter for her and she didn't do well at all on the mock testing for state testing.  They just finished testing her for learning disabilities today, so we should have an ARD soon to find out what they have found out and make the best decision on what is best for her next year.  I hate seeing her struggle so much, but with the way that she learns I'm not so sure that even if we retain her that she's going to pass, she may do better and gain a little more knowledge, but I'm not confident that it's just going to click with her to go through another year.  We also found out by an occupational screening that she's got some visual perception difficulties and so she's attending OT again once a week to work on those things.  I'm interested to see what the school finds out.

Every year brings new challenges and I hate having to retrain the staff every year.  This coming year is going to bring new anxieties as well as we get to deal with an all new school since we got rezoned and Christopher will be at a different school than the girls as well, so we get 2 new schools to deal with and educate about our children.  We can grandfather in Joy and Christopher, but it won't work with Grace.  I'm still praying about what to do.  It just makes me nervous with all of their challenges to have to deal with all new staff and schools.  The principal and guidance counselor at least is on the same page wtih me every year.  Now, I don't even have them to go too.  Probably will ask for some documentation for the old staff to talk to the new staff about our children and what they have seen and all the struggles that come with that.

These are our school challenges thus far.  Just wanted to give a little history of some of the things that we have dealt with.