I'm a diabetic with high blood pressure and high cholesterol. My biological Mom died at age 30...complications of diabetes. July 2nd was my Grandma's birthday. I know that she worried about my health before she died. I sat on my bed that morning looking at their pictures hanging on the wall beside my bed. Parenting kids with RAD, ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, PTSD, PDD (autism spectrum), suspected fetal alcohol and drug exposure has also taken its toll on me. I don't want to die young because I'm neglecting my health, yet due to not having great health insurance and the demands of taking care of children like this...it's a juggling act and I have put myself on the back burner. A lot of the time, I start out with the best of intentions, but the kids are great at becoming demanding or stirring up strife and the next thing I know is that I can't remember if I've taken my insulin or I forget to monitor my blood sugars because their demands have taken priority. I sat on the bed looking at my Grandparents (my Grandpa is also a diabetic) and I made a promise to my Grandma and my Mom that I was going to start making sure that my health became a priority. I don't want to die young and leave my husband and my children behind. My husband needs his wife and my children need their mother.
Hubby had a big talk with the kids about that when they saw me trying to take care of myself that they needed to wait to express what their needs were until they saw that I was done and the importance behind all of that. Granted at lunch, my blood sugar was dropping and I had a child have a total meltdown over not getting exactly what they wanted for lunch and my dropping blood sugar had to wait until safe mode happened before I could take care of myself. Then, I was trying to get through motor mouth time to remember what I was doing. Got a notebook and am trying to journal as I go through the day so I can use the journal to help me keep track. Going to try and use this blog to hold me accountable as well. Trying to get some exercise daily as well.
The good news is that I was finally able to go onto hubby's insurance at work, so that I can start going to the doctor again. I'm terrified of the news as I know my blood work is more than likely not going to be good, but I'm going to be honest and tell them that and what I'm doing to turn it around and am going to go from here. Doing it afraid...God is on my side.
