The juggling act...

Having kids from 11, 7, 6, 5, and 2 makes for a real juggling act sometimes.  Especially since my 3 in the middle have some special needs.  We try to do things that give each of the kids special one-on-one time, but it's still difficult sometimes.  During the week, each kid has a day of the week where it is their day to run errands with the parents if we have to go to the store or do stuff like that.  That's our special time with just that one child.  However, my 6 year old goes to therapy 2-3 times a week and the others view that at not always fair.  We're trying to juggle everything and make it as fair as possible.  However, I know too that they're not always going to see things as fair and I'm slowly accepting that is ok too.  Some of my kids have more "needs" than others and we have to address that too.  We do a lot of explaining around here on why things are the way that they are and for the most part the kids are accepting of that.  The little ones don't always think it's fair that my oldest gets to do the things that she does, but that's just a perk of being older or sometimes I go out with her so that we can focus on "big girl" talks that the little ones aren't ready for.  That type of thing.  And of course, the baby gets attention because she's the baby.   My 7-year-old asked me the other day when we were going to go back to doing certain things with me and I was surprised to find that she missed doing the theraplay attachment games that we were doing.  I told her that we could start doing that again next week.  We try to have a family game night and a family movie night during the week too so that we're still bonding as a family and the kids have family nights to look forward too as well.  But, I am finding that they like their time that is set aside especially for them as well.  We're not always perfect with it...there are some times where we just go with the flow as lots is going on during the week, but we really try to make it where they have their own special day of the week and where we're doing our family themed nights as well.  There are of course times where Andy and I need time to ourselves too or to do our own things as well so we don't burn out either.  It's all a juggling act balancing 5 kids...2 bios and 3 adopted...2 without special needs and 3 with...but I'm also learning that God helps me to balance it all when I let Him guide me too.  Things go so much easier when I just let Him lead me and fill me up.  And I love it when I hear affirmations from my kids that they appreciate their own special time with us and time with our family too.  It can get out of balance sometimes, but God is good at helping me balance it back out when I just listen to Him.

God, thank You so much for helping me in this juggling act and thank You for filling me back up when I need You so that I have it "inside" to give back to my children and family.  Thank You for guiding me in my parenting journey and for helping me to help my children each feel special and unique and to enjoy our time together.  Amen

Presence

As my son continues to throw temper tantrums and get angry about things, I have discovered the power of just being present.  He is triggered by things every few minutes.  With the help of neurofeedback, he is starting to be able to not fall into a rage over every little thing and he'll let me remind him that he's in charge of his behavior.  If he starts kicking and banging and screaming, that's a sign to me that he needs some extra help in regulating himself and I will go sit with him until he's calm.  Once he's calm, we talk about things and address his feelings and we talk it through.  I forget sometimes just how powerful it is to my kids just in me being there.  They don't always like it, but they don't want me to go far either.  And sometimes they are even able to tell me afterwards that they just like me to be there.  Sometimes while they are throwing their fit, I choose to lift them up to the Lord and to ask for help with their behavior, not only for them, but sometimes for me too.

Lord, just like You are always present for us, help me always to be present for my children too.  Amen.

Respite

My husband and I haven't always had respite available.  We've tended to be more along the lines of really just relying on one another.  Anyone who has stepped up and helped usually burns out with my son and they no longer help.   I was posting on a trauma mom board about the fact that we were thinking about hiring in some therapeutic babysitters to help on a rotating schedule so that we weren't burning out our help that was willing.  I had no idea where to turn to find resources.  It's just another form of stress added to what we are dealing with every day to search for help.  But, another Mama said to me and it's so true the more and more that I think about it..."if our help is burning out and we're the ones that have them 24/7...can you just think how much we really NEED our respite?"  I will admit that I'm more than ready for school to start in a little over 2 1/2 weeks.  I am fried.  That's how summers usually roll though...June goes ok, July they start going downhill...and August is a really hard month and they go back to school at the end of the month.  So, I've decided to check with our local Christian university to see if they have any psych or teaching majors that would like to learn and get experience with our kids and maybe that will help us get some help and we won't be burning out just one person.  We've had to ask for help quite a bit lately while we've gotten our son started with his neurofeedback therapy and have been traveling an hour and a half each way three times a week.  We'll be able to cut that down to 2 times a week in a few weeks.  I know our kids can be draining.  I am starting to get after doing this for the past 5 years with barely any help or time away for just my husband and I too that we need time out together to work on our marriage as well.  So, we are going to reach out and humble ourselves and try to get some more resources of willing participants to help us.

Lord, we ask for Your guidance for some "perfect fits" for helpers for our family.  We ask for Christians who are willing to learn about our family and not cast judgment for behaviors that they see among our kids or being judgmental in the ways that we parent or ask them to treat behaviors which maybe they won't agree with.  We ask that they will find favor with our kids and that they will enjoy helping our family as well.  Also, I put the worry over having to pay for it all as well on top of everything else that we're having to pay for lately, into Your hands and trust that You will provide for us.  I also ask for help and guidance for any parent reading here that needs help finding some respite care as well.  It's hard to let our guards down sometimes and be willing to trust others with our precious gifts.  Amen